Couples & Marriage Counseling
in Madison, WI
Dr. Rhonda Reinholtz, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with more than 25 years of experience helping couples communicate, rebuild trust, and reconnect.
In-person sessions near Hilldale or virtual sessions from home.
When Couples Reach Out
Many couples come in because something feels stuck. You might recognize one of these:
The same arguments keep repeating, and neither of you feels heard.
Trust has been broken by an affair or another betrayal.
You feel more like roommates than partners.
Resentment has built up, and it is getting harder to talk about anything that matters.
You are facing a big decision or transition and want to navigate it together.
Whether you are in crisis or simply want a stronger relationship, counseling can help you understand what is happening and find a better way forward.
Healing after infidelity
Discovering an affair can shake the foundation of a relationship. Couples counseling offers a structured, safe place to work through hurt, anger, and betrayal, understand what led to the breach, and decide together how to move forward. Rebuilding trust takes time, and you do not have to navigate it alone.
Couples Therapy FAQ
Some questions and themes have stood the test of time. I’ve heard them from the very beginning, and I still hear them today. The following are common questions that come up in early sessions with many couples I work with.
“I love my partner but we have some serious problems that are bothering me more and more. They won’t agree to couples therapy. Should I see an individual therapist if my partner won’t come to couples counseling?”
If you are increasingly unhappy or concerned about your relationship, the first step is to make sure you have let your partner know that. Even if you’ve suggested couples counseling already, it’s a good idea to make sure you’ve conveyed that you are having serious concerns about the relationship, and that you aren’t just complaining about something that isn’t really a big deal.
If your partner still declines to try relationship counseling with you, let them know you are going see a therapist by yourself. One thing to note about this – and something worth mentioning to your partner – is that when people seek individual therapy because their partner won’t do couples work, there is a risk that they grow further apart. Tell your partner you don’t want that – you want the two of you to grow together – as an additional way of showing them their importance to you, and so that you’ve let them know they are risking that outcome by not joining you in relationship counseling.
“My partner keeps pressuring me to go to couples therapy but I think they just want to blame me and have the therapist take their side. I don’t want to be ganged up on by two people so I haven’t agreed to go. Now they are holding that against me too. Is there a way I can be sure that a couples therapist won’t just take their side?”
Many people whose partners suggest couples therapy are reluctant to walk into a situation that feels stacked against them. But a skilled therapist knows there are always two sides to any situation, and that it’s never as simple as only one partner needing to change.
A good therapist will ask both parties what they need to work on for a better relationship, knowing that both have contributed to the patterns creating the problems. So even if your partner tells the therapist you are the one who needs to change, trust that the therapist will see the mutual and reciprocal patterns that require both of you to do the work.
“If either my partner or I is already in individual therapy, would a couples’ therapist talk with our individual therapists? If so, would our individual sessions still be confidential?”
This is a decision you get to make; it really depends on what is best for your particular situation.
When I am the couples therapist, I ask partners in individual therapy to discuss with their therapist whether it would be most helpful to keep that process completely separate, or whether it would be helpful for the therapists to consult together. It is often the case that therapists who can touch base offer a greater level of understanding than what they can obtain without sharing their perspectives.
Therapists are not able to discuss cases without explicit consent from all parties involved (even if the therapists are in the same office), so if this would be helpful, both partners will need to sign consent forms. And this can be a restricted consent if that would be best. For example, the consent forms might allow the couples therapist to share their observations with the individual therapists, but not allow the individual therapists to reveal anything from the separate individual therapy sessions (a one-way street).